Is this peak Covidity? - The Ostrich Head

Musicians around the world (but especially in the US) are wearing face masks with holes in them to blow the air full force through their instruments but still be protected from COVID. Is this how masks work?

While some academic pundits and politicians, such as that Fauci guy, are suggesting we all wear masks for eternity, they do actually have a logical argument. (Not that I’m defending them — flat earthers have logical arguments too.)

But wearing a mask to cover your face while playing a wind instrument? Seriously? This is no more than indoctrination to make sure the proletariat knows where they stand.

Now, I get that some people are going to create these masks to sell and make a buck. I’ve not nothing against that, if someone wants to buy them.

You can buy this French horn mask on Etsy for $28.

Who is buying this shit? You can just rip a hole out of a 5c mask and achieve the same thing:

But why spend 5c on a mask when you can commission a $250,000 study to determine which instruments emit the most particles? So far, they’ve determined that the oboe and trumpet are the biggest emitters. Sounds like a useful way to spend money.

But they are getting results: They’ve found that “cutting a slit in a typical surgical mask with an exacto knife is effective.”

They didn’t specify what it is effective at. Maybe turning students into good obedient citizens who realize there’s no benefit in thinking or pointing out the obvious?

Austin junior Annalee Fletcher shows how she and other clarinet players utilize masks and play their instruments at the same time. In addition to this custom mask, another face covering that is uncut is utilized when the performer is not playing. Photo courtesy of Annalee Fletcher.

Students at Baylor University have to wear these absurd cut out masks when practicing alone.

But why stop there?

They also add coverings to the bells of clarinets and saxophones, which is insane. For the non-musicians out there, the air pressure at the bell is so low that any covering at all will simply redirect the air out of the numerous other holes in the instrument.

No UW Marching Band performances at football games this fall | Higher education | madison.com — Members of the UW Marching Band wear face coverings and play instruments with bell covers during a limited-capacity practice session earlier this month to adhere to COVID-19 protocols.

Unfortunately, even though it is outside where there have been only a handful of recorded transmissions, the school decided it’s too dangerous to have the band performing at the University of Wisconsin football games.

Yes, because for young adults, the risk of dying from COVID is so high that it’s almost as dangerous as living. The football game itself isn’t dangerous, apparently.

So if masks have to have holes, and covering the end of the bell doesn’t work, what can you do?

Use a tent of course.