Yes, this is the new advice from New York City Health on COVID-19. Verbatim.
For those of you who are serial rapists, or even just casual rapists, please be aware that during the COVID-19 pandemic, this could be detrimental to your health, and to your victims. Please be a bit more aware of the dangers during this terrible time.
Here are some other great strategies NYC Health offers:
Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with sop and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex.
Great to know. And yes, washing your vibrator is essential because who knows how many people will use it between now and half an hour from now when you use it again.
If you do have sex with others outside of your household, have as few partners as possible and pick partners you trust.
More great advice. Hmm… let me see, what’s the minimum number of partners that is possible? Five? Weekends off?
And picking partners I trust… I guess that goes back to the bit about only having sex with consenting partners. Bit of a downer.
But don’t worry, there’s some great advice on group sex as well:
Limit the size of your guest list. Keep it intimate.
Great advice for a sex party. Clearly the author has organized dozens and knows that these parties are completely random people.
Wear a face covering, avoid kissing, and do not touch your eyes, nose, or mouth with
unwashed hands.
What happened to intimate? I thought we were going somewhere with this. So we’ve gone from an intimate gathering to a masquerade with no kissing (also known as unemotional sex).
Going at it face to face is obviously going to be dangerous. But wearing masks will make all the difference!
If you usually meet your sex partners online or make a living by having sex, consider taking a
break from in-person dates. Video dates, sexting, subscription-based fan platforms, sexy “Zoom parties” or chat rooms may be options for you.
Yup. No need to charge $200 for sex. Just Zoom your clients. I’m sure they’ll be happy to pay by PayPal. You can also record these meetings, so there’s blackmail money there for you as well!
If you decide to have sex outside of your circle of contacts or a hook up:
o Take precautions interacting with people at risk for severe COVID-19 illness such as
Please take note you geriaphiles!
Kissing can easily pass the virus. Avoid kissing anyone who is not part of your small circle of
close contacts.
Well this has totally changed the way I life my life! Now I have to stop kissing random strangers on the mouth every day?
Rimming (mouth on anus) might spread the virus. Virus in feces may enter your mouth and
could lead to infection
Yes, COVID-19 is something to think about when rimming. I mean, shit in mouth is fine on any other day.
Wear a face covering or mask. Maybe it’s your thing, maybe it’s not, but during COVID-19
wearing a face covering that covers your nose and mouth is a good way to add a layer of protection during sex. Heavy breathing and panting can spread the virus further, and if you or your partner have COVID-19 and don’t know it, a mask can help stop that spread
What happened to kissing and rimming?
Make it a little kinky. Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that
allow sexual contact while preventing close face to face contact.
Maybe this bit of advice should have come with some diagrams. I’m still trying to work out exactly how to do this. Wall fucking is fun and great exercise. But having the wall between two partners? Maybe if Trump gets around to building it.
So stay safe, and for the remainder of this pandemic, try to stick to consensual sex.
